#you know who you married

[separatist-apologist]

Fourth of July only means one thing to me: time to bring my Halloween decorations out of the attic

[starcurtain]

Please someone redraw this with Dr. Ratio and Aventurine because this is the exact vibe they have in my head post-Penacony.

[pixlokita]

Oswald's mom is kinda-

[afterartist]

IVE DONE IT!! (not exactly sure what it is in this situation but it sure is done)

Rumble n Frenzy would bully screamer any chance they get

Soundwave on the other hand needs payed vacation because that man has to put up with so much crap

[skyrigel]

Simon who's an attention whore. You cooking? So he's clinging on to your neck, grabbing away that spatula and kissing you giddy. You on work ? So he's leaning against the wall, brooding and whining and mewing. You out with your friends? He's sending that Little scratch he got, captioned with, “need kissies now”, he lowkey wants your fuckin' attention all the damn time and he's so shameless about it.

[sesamestreep]

I really feel like one of the best details in “A Scandal in Bohemia” that I never see people fixate on enough is that the story starts with Watson stopping in to see Holmes at Baker Street on a complete whim, because he happens to see that he’s home (and Watson is now married and living elsewhere). Like he doesn’t send word first, he’s not invited, he just shows up and surprises Holmes. Which is not that weird but then Holmes is like “oh good, I’ve got a case anyway, you might as well hang out!” which just makes it funnier when the King shows up and is like “I’d really rather speak to you alone, actually” and Watson tries to leave and Holmes is just like “anything you can say to me, you can say to my best friend John Watson, and if you ask him to leave, I would consider it a grave insult, you would be my enemy and I will not help you ever!!” And the king is like “…ok” and just moves on.

like, that is crazy behavior. Holmes is talking about how there’s probably lots of money in this case, and then almost turns away the client for…not knowing who the fuck Watson is?? He’s not even supposed to be there?? He just came to say hi?? “It is both or none”… girl, GET UP.

[disgracefulthings]

Hungover Lan Wangji: ughhh, what happened...?

Wei Wuxian: Wow, drunk Lan Zhan is an entirely different person

Lan Wangji: ...what did I do?

Wei Wuxian: Well, after having a sip of alcohol and passing out, you woke up and tried to steal some chickens

Lan Wangji: Oh god

Wei Wuxian: Then you confessed your undying love for me and told me I am not allowed to kiss anyone but you

Lan Wangji covering his face: Oh no

Wei Wuxian: Then you got us married and adopted an orphan

Lan Wangji: That explains the child

Wei Wuxian: His name is A-Yuan. Then you brought us back to the Jinshi and passed out again

Lan Wangji: Why did you let me do those things?

Wei Wuxian: I was also very drunk

[tweedfrog]

People: "omgg Catelyn was such an evil bitch if she was so hurt at Ned she should have taken it out on him instead of Jon who did nothing wrong!"

Westerosi noble husbands who have full legal and social control of their household (including their wife) if their wife ever attempts to "take something out on them":

[a-most-beloved-fool]

Kinda want to write a Spock POV post-fal-tor-pan fic where Spock sees Jim and is instantly whammed with the fact that he's in love with him, but still has no idea why or what that means, so he just goes around with a knot of love tangled in his mind, utterly baffled as to why it's there or how to figure it out. He can't ask the kolinahr adepts, because it feels un-vulcan, so instead he's just. confusedly pining the entire time.

Jim smiles sappily at him and Spock's like "My Heart Is Beating Faster. Why Is My Heart Beating Faster. There Is No Cause For My Heart To Be Beating Faster. Do I Have Tachycardia."

Spock, to McCoy: Doctor, is there history of heart disease in my family?

Bones, suspicious: Yes? Why? (already surreptitiously scanning Spock w/ a tricorder)

Spock: I have noticed concerning irregularities in my heart beat. They occur primarily around Admiral Kirk.

Bones, freezing: Repeat that for me, Spock?

Spock: I have noti-

Bones: No, not that, the next bit! Where they happen!

Spock: Ah. Around Admiral Kirk.

[FIVE MINUTES LATER]

Spock, annoyed: Doctor, cease laughing. I fail to understand what part of my medical condition you find so amusing.

Bones, still wheezing with laughter: Don't - don't you worry your little head about it, Spock. You're not sick, that's the important thing. (interrupts himself by laughing again) You'll (wheeze) figure it out eventually.

(Spock, disgruntled, gives up on him and leaves.)

(McCoy keeps laughing for another ten minutes.)

[thepersonperson]

Sukuna is Peak Gap Moe. I’ll never be over this. This bastard talks tough, eats people, and kills like a woodchipper and yet…he is a poetic little sap. Getting mad over an improper haikus, the misidentification of flowers…and confessing his feelings to Gojo Satoru under several layers of wordplay no one except those well-versed in ancient Japanese would catch.

I've been over this in greater detail in Sukuna's Negative Rizz, but @tangsakura added more context in the replies to that post, making Sukuna's use of 凡夫 (bonpu) for Gojo even gayer.

In summary, 凡夫 (bonpu) can be translated as painfully ordinary or unenlightened. But in the individual kanji readings, 凡 is mediocre and 夫 is husband. You could read this as Sukuna calling Gojo his mediocre husband. And that's just the modern readings! The ancient readings...

So you can read this line from Sukuna as the following:

“You were born in an era without me and hailed as 'The Strongest'

1) And yet you turned out to be…painfully ordinary.”

2) And yet you turned out to be…unenlightened.”

3) And yet you turned out to be…a mediocre husband/wife/spouse.”

4) And yet you turned out to be…the ordinary one who could stand by my side.”

Sukuna seems to be saying these things all at once. (It’s no different than the Megumi Activities wordplay he uses with Enchain. Alt. link if the Twitter dies.) Gojo apparently makes him feel very conflicted. He’s boring, he can do better, he shouldn’t even call himself the Honored One, he’s his equal, they’re married. The irony here is that no one except Sukuna can understand this.

[noblemalone]

What if Dragon Age but they all work at Costco

it’s been 20 minutes and I’m already obsessed with this AU

More

[abyssruler]

you and scaramouche have been married for fifty years, but unlike your immortal husband, you’re a human who inevitably ages.

“yes, she’s my wife. yes, she’s seventy-eight. you got a problem with that?”

he stares thunderously down at the recruit who had stupidly asked who the old grandma hanging around their camp was.

[ratatatastic]

oh ellie his fiancée made banana bread before every home game and thats what made him play well....huh well isnt that an interesting tidbit that doesn't remind me of anything at all...

Matthew Cup Day | 7.18.24 (x)

yeah this reminds me of nothing absolutely nothing at all (x)

absolutely nothing at all...

nothing really comes to mind actually...

[coastalcowgirl35]

Hat Thief- Tyler Owens Drabble

Note: I'm so obsessed with writing for him, if anyone has ideas please send them to me. Also I didn't edit it, sorry.

You're lying in the truck with your boot clad feet out the window and Tyler's hat on your head. It's burning hot and he's taking his sweet time for some reason. Your white tank top and jean shorts are clinging to you uncomfortably. The AC in the motel is broken and Tyler has the keys. so you can't turn on the car.

"Tyler? Baby, you coming?" You call out to no avail. Evidently he's not even outside yet. You groan deeply and throw an arm over your face. Y'all aren't even chasing today, he wants to take you to his family farm to ride horses.

You've met his parents a few times, they're very sweet and loving and very proud of their son, which of course you understand. He a college graduate, internet famous, and a very selfless person. You truly can't get enough of him, even after dating for 3 years, you still get flustered when he flirts with you. And wearing his stuff, like the hat on your head right now, makes you giddy. You start to blush just thinking of him; his smile, his laugh, his voice, his hair, his hands, his abs, his thoughtfulness, his hugs and kisses, you are literally in love with every part of him.

You are snapped out of your thoughts when you hear the motel door open and close.

"Ty, that you?" You call out.

"Yeah baby, sorry I'll be ready in a moment! I'm just lookin' for something!"

"Okay!" You say as you hear his footsteps approaching the truck. He opens the back and starts moving stuff around. After a few minutes you sit up on your elbows and peer out the back window.

"Whatcha looking for Ty?" He makes his way around to the side of the truck and opens one of the doors.

"Have you seen my..." he trails off. You crane your neck to look at him, which is made difficult by your boots still being about the window.

"Your what?" You say, further confused by his grin. "What?"

"You little thief!" He cries out. "What?!" You say indignantly.

"My hat!" He responds, snatching it off your head. "I've been looking for that for twenty minutes!"

"Oh! I was wondering what was taking you so long!" You laugh.

"Stealing is wrong." He scoffs as he gets in the car. "But I will say you look damn good in my hat." You giggle at that and pull your feet in the car as he starts the engine.

"I love you Ty."

"I love you too hat thief."

[constarlations]

Pokémon Timeskip Series: Battle Legend Lyra 🍒🍂

One of the two Johto-Kanto champions, Lyra is best known for her bright and cheery down to earth attitude both on and off the battle field! She likes to travel ALOT you can find her in coffee shops in Kalos or surfing the waves in Alola or just about anywhere with her Fiancé, Silver by her side and never turns down a challenge to a good battle (even if she accidentally sweeps the other person’s team whoops) Her favorite drink is boba tea, her birthday is March 4th, she has a crippling gatcha AND otome addiction, and is 165 cm tall but that’s all for text no one is gonna read aaaaaa-

Drew out my timeskip Lyra due to me wanting to update a few things in regards to her design (can’t believe it’s been almost two years since my timeskip designs HELP) but I hope you enjoy!

Twitter Link

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

Just once I would like a Peter stuck in Gotham story where Tony gets dragged along with him for the ride.

Like they drop down and Tony is like

“Not an ideal situation, good news is we’re not dead. Bad news that looked like a one way trip for us. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Now we should focus on short turn goals: food, water and a place to stay, everything else can wait.”

I want Tony to be out there working his ass off from helping people with broken items then getting a job at wayne enterprises and starting a technology revolution in this dimension because he just can’t stand how out of date everything is and then running to pick up Peter from the rich kid school and the two of them trying to do reconnaissance and failing miserably.

Peter for his part is having a great time with school and his new vigilante gig.

Peter’s vigilante friends in school are worried about how bruised Peter looks sometimes and think that Tony is abusive before breaking in and just hearing Tony being a mother hen.

Then one breakout things are not looking too good and Spider-man just says

“Karen, activate Papa Protocol.”

And then like ten minutes later in comes Ironman with a bone to pick with the rouges.

Bruce doesn’t know if he loves Tony or hates him but his kids find him hilarious.